4 Ways to use Technology Wisely

Do you want to help your kids use technology wisely? Me too! Do you know how to do that? (Crickets…) Keep reading, and you’ll have a place to start!

Here are 4 ways to get you started in helping your kids used technology wisely.

Manage the device, train the heart.
Of all the advice I’ve given to parents about the area of technology, this line consistently gets the most feedback. Manage the device, train the heart. I’m enough of a geek that I can generally help a parent lock down a device to the point that their kids can’t do anything nefarious with it. However, I’m powerless to stop that same teen from picking up their friend’s device to take that nefarious action. That’s why we have to focus on training the heart of our children, and manage the device they use. What people do online is so often a reflection of the heart, character, ethics, and morals they are living out at the time. So as parents, lets focus on that. And that should encourage you! Even though your kids will always know more about technology than you do, you don’t need to know anything about technology in order to help them succeed. Just train their hearts. Teach them the morals and values that matter so deeply to you. Talk about why those things matter, and share stories from your own life of how you’ve learned, struggled and grown. Your kids (and your relationship with them) will be better for it.
Cover the basics.
The basic areas you’ll need to address are: conversation with your family, home internet/device protection, mobile device protection, and passwords.
- Conversation with your family. The parents need to discuss what your goals are, and they need to be on the same page. Do you want to block certain content or just track where your kids go online? How much time online each day should your kids be allowed? Once the parents are on the same page, you should have a discussion with your kids. Depending on their age, they should have input into the plan for keeping everyone safe online. Don’t just hand down a new set of rules without discussion. Rules without relationship leads to rebellion.
- Home Internet & Device protection. Where will devices be charged? When and where can devices be used? What services, tools, or apps will be used to monitor or block web traffic? Will younger kids have a web browser on their phones at all?
- Mobile Device protection. Will you use an app to track the location of each member of your family. (Apple users, Find My iPhone and family sharing make this a breeze.) Will you track internet activity? How? There are a myriad of apps available for this: some free, some paid. My advice is this…pick one and try it. None of them are perfect, but any of them is better than nothing. Under no circumstances do I recommend giving an child or young teen unrestricted access to the internet, especially on a mobile device.
- Own the passwords—all of them. Using technology is a privilege, not a right. Parents should know and own all passwords for devices, email and social media accounts, etc. If a password in ever changed without a conversation with a parent, that’s a sure sign that something fishy is going on.
Model healthy boundaries as a parent.

I’ll be honest…this one stings. It stings because most of us parents are just as wrapped up in our technology as our kids. We have the same “Pavlov’s dog” response when our phone dings, buzzes or vibrates that our kids have.

We need to model putting technology in it’s place, and that means we need to value relationships and people we are physically with over whatever is happening on the screen. We need to have “off time” for our devices as well as our kids. One helpful tip I’ve come across is to narrate what you’re doing. I don’t mean talking out loud as you type a text. I mean explaining the reason for picking it up in the first place. Think about it: the rest of your family just sees the back of your phone. Try saying “I just need to send a quick email to Jim about the volleyball schedule.” Then your family knows you’re doing something that matters instead of ignoring them to up your Candy Crush score. (and with that one app reference this post has be come dated….oh well.)

4. Ongoing Discussion

Your kids will fail at this. You will fail at this. We all will make mistakes when it comes to using the tech in our lives. We’ll look at something we shouldn’t, we’ll say something to or about someone online that we would never say in person, and we parents will post something that our teens find incredibly embarrassing. So, we need to talk about it. We need to regularly admit our mistakes, seek forgiveness and accountability, and extend grace to one another.

There you have it. To get started in this area do these 4 things and you’ll set a great foundation for your family’s tech use!