The Head-Heart Connection

Our God is good and faithful. He is all-knowing, all-powerful, and He is always with us. Christ died for our sins, and as forgiven believer, I can have confidence that nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:35-39) These truths about God’s character and His promises are “known” and familiar to me and other Christ-followers. However, it is during times of trial that the head to heart connection is put to the test. 

I’ve been a believer for most of my life and I’ve had my faith tested  through challenges such as growing up with a handicapped brother who died in his early 20s. Our family has also confronted the diagnosis of a rare genetic disorder for me and three of my daughters. We’ve walked through death and discouragement, and frustrating times before and successfully carried the banner of victory by clinging to the truth of Scripture and proclaiming the promises of God. 

So, isn’t that what it is suppose to be like all the time?

May I remind you that you are human and those other people in your home with you are human as well?  And as humans, we sometimes fail. We fail to have the right perspective. We fail to trust and keep pressing on. We fail to connect our head knowledge about God with the daily feelings of our heart. 

During this COVID-19 pandemic and time of social distancing, our daily routines have been flipped on their head.   Things are different and it seems that there is something changing every moment!  For the first few days of the outbreak we would give the girls an update at the lunch table. First, we told them that church was canceled for two weeks. Next, we learned that groups were limited t gatherings of 50 or less. Then we learned that church was canceled for two months!

A friend of mine reminded me that we are navigating unchartered waters. When you have the choice to get in the boat, you can gear up and prepare your head-heart connection for those waters. The world, however, had been unexpectedly dumped into a vast sea of unknowns.  Do you as a parent feel equipped for this adventure?  How is your head-heart connection?

Here is a list of some things I have found helpful during this time for our family:

1.) Be honest about what you are feeling and check to see if Scripture speaks to that. Do you feel uncertain or confused? Scripture says to ask for wisdom and it will be give to you (James 1:5). Do you feel worried? Scripture says do not worry about anything (Matthew 6:25-34).  This helps to connect your head and your heart. 

2.) Renew your mind. We live in a time of information overload. Be discerning about what information you allow to dwell in your mind. Use Philippians 4:8 as a test. Make sure you are reading God’s promises daily to renew your mind and strengthen that head-heart connection. 

3.) Communicate!  Check in with each person in your family several times a day. Ask them how they are doing. Some people are thinkers and some are feelers. For my husband, if I ask him what he is feeling, he has few words. The extent of his feelings is often limited to descriptors like “hungry” or “tired.”  If I ask him what he is thinking about, he engages in dialogue. If your family isn’t talking, ask your questions differently. 

4.) Seek community!  We were designed to live in community. We are better together, so encourage and help support one another. During stressful times, we need one another more than ever. At each mealtime, our family asks the question, who did you talk with today and who did you encourage?  We have encouraged our kids to check in with friends and video chat. My extroverts don’t need that prodding, but sometimes introverts do need that reminder to reach out.  An encouraging word and a gentle reminder of the truth strengthens us. 

5.) Show grace to one another. Most families today are experiencing together time like they never have before. There is opportunity to get on one another’s nerves and to push buttons.   Give one another the benefit of the doubt. Seek to understand rather than assume. Communicate clearly and lovingly. And remember that hurting people often hurt people. If there is someone in your family with a short temper or one who is constantly pestering others, lean in and discover the source of their pain. 

During this time I pray the truths of Scripture that you “know” to be true in your head will seep down and marinate in your heart. May your head-heart connection grow stronger in these times of struggle. May your children grow in their faith and see the promises of God lived out before their eyes in their own home. May this be a season that is not marked by fear or worry but of faith and trust. Remember that Christ goes before us and if we are following Him, there are no uncharted waters.